Some of CurryCall’s accounting systems were working in rupees and the rest in US bucks, and when they consolidated the conversion module swapped each of ‘em to the other.

It was a train wreck.  You gotta laugh.

Monday

Still down at Portsea for the long weekend.  Ran into that posh guy with the dorky English accent that used to do regulatory at Netspace.  Had some good advice, though.  He says:  ‘Remember, it isn’t binge drinking unless you stop.’  I can’t say it like he does though, toff.

Tuesday

It gets worse.  Some lizard brain sports reporter at the Melton local paper has called our netball team the Funnytel Shitsters.  ‘It isn’t Shitsters.  It’s Skystars,’ I call and say.  ‘Well it says Shitsters on their headbands,’ says the peanut.  ‘That’s not Shitsters, it’s Shysters,’ I say.  ‘We need a retraction.’

So now they’re printed a correction that Funnytel’s Shitsters are really Shysters under the frigging headline ‘We may be dodgy but we’re not crap’ say Funnytel netballers.

Still, it’s not as bad as November when I didn’t pick up that the radio scripts spelled it ‘nakked DSL’.  CEO Steve really lost it after Larry phoned larfing his head off about ‘Funnytel’s new knackered plans’.

Gotta turn on spellcheck.

Tuesday

Dropped in on the network admins meeting and they’re sweating on some report that 92% of net traffic is pirate.  Far as they can tell, we’re at 85% and Steve wants to know why we’re so far under the industry average.

Rick showed why he’s Cisco-certified though.  Brilliant idea of identifying the top 100 legal P2P users and aggressively shaping them.  Oughta minimise the proportion of legit stuff in no time.  Those do-gooders are really gonna get knackered DSL.

Wednesday

Farkin trade practices advertising compliance training session, courtesy of those dim ACCC orders.  Steve is making me and Kellie the receptionist do it, since two staff have to.  He says it’s better for us to go cos it shields the sales and marketing team from it, which I agree makes sense.  Those guys have serious marketing stuff to do.

Today the trainer rabbited on about what they call the main message in adverts.  I said ‘Like Dodo’s main message is that you could get lucky with a bikini babe’ ?  Hahahaha.

Thursday

Completed contract review of new Telstra CRA.  Actually, Kellie from reception did most of it, cos I figure we should get value from this legal stuff she’s had to sit through.

I told her not to make any comments or change anything since every page is headed ‘Draft for discussion purposes only’ which is Telstra-speak for ‘Set in concrete not negotiable won’t even talk about it’.  But now I can put it on my CV that I’ve done a Telstra CRA   No probs.

Friday

CurryCall has offered Steve a half interest in their new idea of a web employment service for Indians in Oz.  Gonna call it sikh.com.au.  Steve says are we gonna get pinged for idea theft.  Kellie googled sikh idea theft and reckons there’s nothing about it, so I gave Steve the all clear.  Simply dunno why people waste good money on lawyers now there’s google.

Cheers.

Chad Blake - Manager (Legal Affairs & Hospitality) at Funnytel

Welcome to my new weekly post on life at Funnytel.  It’s great to be part of the CSP Central team, even if the other folks here are a bit OTT when it comes to legalities.

If you don’t know much about Funnytel, check out the cool intro piece the guys did.

I’ve already had some reader questions about Funnytel, which is great.  Tang from Singapore asks why Funnytel surrendered its carrier licence this week.

Funny story, that.

Monday

Never like Mondays.  Same thing every week – voicemail from CEO Steve moaning about the sponsorship headbands for his wife’s frizzing netball team on Saturday.

So I stuffed up some proof reading.  So they’re really called the Funnytel Skystars and not the Funnytel Shysters.  Big deal.  If Steve didn’t insist that we only buy from outfits that take BarterCard we could afford a print house that didn’t make us order a minimum five years of stock.

Tuesday

Do Not Call Register people called again, chasing up the list wash account.  Steve reckons if we hold out long enough they’ll back down and take BarterCard.  I keep reminding him how (not) successful that tactic was with the ACCC fines, but he still reckons we’ll get there.

Meantime they won’t wash any lists for us so we’ve got the back up plan working.  Sandeep has added a new opening line to every sales script ‘Good morning, sir.  I hope you are having a good day.  I seem to have dialled a mistaken number and I have a very good mobile phone plan I am sure you will want to hear about.’

Complete defence to Do Not Call moans, pretty smooth, eh ?  Called by mistake.  Love it.

Wednesday

ACCC called again, asking about the ‘We built our own network’ billboard.  Some smartie wants to know where our network is.  Told ‘em it’s right beside Crazy John’s.  Seemed to satisfy her.  Said something about a 155 letter.  Suppose it’s an award or something.

Thursday

Carrier licence cancellation confirmed by ACMA, which was great because our USO contribution cheque is due to bounce tomorrow. 

Steve reckons he doesn’t need carrier powers now that the new tennis court and drainage system is finished at his place.  No better way to get trenching done across a neighbour’s lawn than turn up with a back hoe and a carrier licence. 

Dumbsters next door couldn’t tell agri-pipe from fibre conduit and never asked why four fibre runs would be heading from the side of a court anyway.  Steve reckons his court drains perfectly and trenches through the neighbour’s garden won’t look too bad in a year or two.

Great fun, being a carrier.

Friday

Look out for our promo blitz at the one dayer in Sydney today.  We copied the idea from an Optus SMS competition a couple of years ago.  Steve was brilliant cos when I said we should get a raffle permit he’d saved the number that Optus used.  Same promo, same permit number.  It’s what lawyers call a precedent.

Off to Portsea for the weekend and back to the usual ‘Why are we handing out those bloody Funnytel Shysters headbands it’s an embarrassment’ message on Monday.

Cheers.